Today is January 30, 2017.  It’s almost the end of the first month of the year and so much has happened. I know I have not been consistent in my blog writing and there aren’t any excuses for this.  The only thing I can say is that I have simply been living and trying to shift my focus.  I have started my weight loss journey for the last time.  What I mean by this is simple, I am done starting over and going to continue and finish what I started.  I am being accountable for what I eat, I am prioritizing working out, and I am allowing myself space to make mistakes.  That is something I don’t do too often.  I always have a goal in mind but I don’t let myself make mistakes and when I do (not if but when), I feel like I let myself down so I give up.  But I am done giving up!  I am keeping a constant reminder of why I started in the first place and I am allowing my progress to be slow and steady instead of fast like I want it to be.  This change in mindset is shifting so much of how my progress is going.  People notice a difference and I am so determined to keep it up and not get discouraged.

Another way that I have shifted my focus is in how I talk to myself.  I am making the conscious effort this year to change my self-talk and go from being negative to positive.  I want to encourage myself and I don’t think I’ve ever really done that.  I am making the habit of changing how I talk to myself and it is making a world of a difference in so many aspects of my life.  For one, I have begun the process of no longer dwelling on what I don’t have.  I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t have money, I don’t have a job, I don’t have any idea what is going to happen next in my life.  All of these things may be true but here is what I do have: I do have community, I do have a church home, I do have a place to serve every week, I do have a loving family & friends, I do have God.  I have everything I need even though it doesn’t always feel like it to be honest.  I “wish” for a lot of things but what can wishing do for me that God can’t? Absolutely nothing!  There is no benefit in making wishes when I know that I have a God that is in control.

Something else that has taken hold over my mind is that I realized that I stopped dreaming and hoping.  I don’t know when it happened, but at some point, I actually stopped dreaming!  I stopped believing the impossible could happen.  I gave myself limits.  I’ve begun to think practically.  I’ve lost my creativity.  I could blame it on becoming an entering the “real world”. I could blame it on having to be more responsible and less care free (aka “adulting”).  Call whatever you like, but the fact still remains that I have stopped dreaming and getting my hopes up.  I have ceased to let my imagination run wild.  I’ve become an adult and for some reason, that meant practicality took the place of being hopeful and dreaming big dreams.  In terms of my spiritual health, that also meant that I’ve ceased to pray big prayers.  This has effected every aspect of my life because I don’t want to fail or be disappointed.  How scary is that?

This absolutely broke my heart.  While I have been improving in many areas of my life, I have sacrificed a major part of myself.  When it happened? I don’t know.  But I want to snap out of it. I want to dream big again. I want to throw away boundaries and fear of being let down or disappointed.  But these walls that I’ve built up will be hard to knock down.  But just like in the book of Joshua and the battle of Jericho, I am going to bring them down with singing, worship, and the strength of God behind me.  I don’t ever want to think, “I can’t do this because…” again. Instead, I am going to have hope in the Lord, confidence that God is who He says He is, and assurance that the same powerful Holy Spirit that rose Jesus from the dead lives within me!  I want to be intentional in proclaiming this today.

If you have ever stopped dreaming, ceased to pray big prayers, or put practicality in the way of your hopes and dreams, take this challenge with me and declare today that you can do anything!  You can accomplish whatever you want. It may be hard but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible!  Sometimes, all it takes is a little encouragement.  With that, I leave with these parting words of not just encouragement, but of hope as well:

You can do this. You will do this. Nothing can stop you.

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2 thoughts on “I Grew Up & Stopped Dreaming

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